its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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