i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
