we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I am available for nakedness
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
