help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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