I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
