i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
