forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
