You work out of a Hotel?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we're making bets on your personal life
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
