Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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