so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
