You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
false alarm, still single
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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