I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
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If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
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Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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