Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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