My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
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I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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