Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
