talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
