didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
