Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
