the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Randomize
