During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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