Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
