Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
