Are we in a gay sports bar?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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