as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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