i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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