1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
