I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
