i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm like, not good at living.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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