today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
