She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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