you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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