I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
