I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
