Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize