Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
