every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
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He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
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Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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