It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
