So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
