Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
