well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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