everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize