Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
found the other keg... it's in the tree
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
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Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
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I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize