that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
