Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
