My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
