I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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