So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
