Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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