i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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