Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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