Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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