I've blown a few things in my day
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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