wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
