Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
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Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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