I wish I could teleport
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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