just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
