Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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