I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
