Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize