I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
