How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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