first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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