remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
