I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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